Shortly after he died Craig posted (what Craig thought at least) a funny, and relatively innocent post as a tribute to Mr. Swayze - "I guess we can put baby in a corner now, eh?" Kris warned him it could cause trouble, but Craig said "come on, what problem could it cause?"
Craig received a lot of responses. Some questioned the timing, most thought it was funny. Many did what Facebook allows you to do, and signalled that they "liked" the post. This is where the problem came in. One of Craig's friends (a lovely girl, who Craig adores) took offense to people "liking" that Patrick Swayze died!! Instead of going on I'll let you read the post (unedited):
"I usually don't respond to people's comments unless they are filled with
fun and humour, but the fact that people will say it is ok that a person died is
sick! You may have not liked him as an actor, you may have not liked any of his movies...... but the fact is...... he suffered a horrific and painful death, have you ever seen a loved one die from Cancer???? !!!!!Perhaps an educated person would read the "GOOD" this human being has done and contrubuted
to "our"world...... What have you done to help make a change for the better?!"
Kris called it, someone got upset. What does all this have to do with the blog? I thought it would fit, because it brings up the concept best said in the 2008 summer hit "The Dark Knight" - Why So Serious?
but first a couple of things. . . .
Patrick Swayze may not have an Oscar on his mantle; however, he definitely has an impressive body of work to his credit. Craig was a big M*A*S*H fan growing up and that's where he first say Swayze. Kris first remembers him in the "North and South" mini-series, and Craig remembers his family glued to every episode of that as well. During the summer of 1994, Kris' step sister and her friend came to visit during our first summer in Coaldale. The two teenagers went to the video store at least twice a week during those months, and almost every time they came home with one movie; Dirty Dancing. It's still one of Kris' favorites. It inevitably shows up on TV, and Craig will always find Kris watching it (even thought they own the DVD!) Tired of doing the teenage shlock, Swayze took some gutsy roles like the role of drag queen Vida in "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything. Julie Newmar" and the role of the pedophile/motivational speaker in "Donnie Darko" (sorry if I spoiled that for you!!) His role in Donnie Darko is easily Craig's favorite. His premature death of such a terrible disease is tragic.
Secondly (Many of you reading this probably already know this but it bares repeating), Craig is a survivor. Back in May of 2004, Craig was noticing that he was having a hard time focusing on things on his computer at work. He believed he just needed a new prescription, and made an Optometrist appointment for later that week. It was a Thursday on Craig's lunch that he saw his regular optometrist downtown. The doctor through the use of some new equipment he was using noticed that Craig had bleeding in the back of his right eye. He asked Craig if he had been tested for high blood pressure before, and then took the number to his family doctor. He advised Craig that he would be putting him in touch with an opthamologist to look into this further, and it had to be right away.
Back to work Craig went, a little worried, but not giving it much thought. Later that afternoon his family doctor called to discuss the conversation they had with his optometrist. She asked if Craig could stop by on the way home from work and they would give him a quick check. Now Craig was starting to worry.
Craig got to his doctor and was shown into an exam room right away. His doctor came in and told him it was probably nothing, as she said he looked great (thanks doc!); but that she wanted to take his blood pressure just to make sure. She took it and turned pale. Without saying anything else, she told Craig she would get him something "boring to read" and return in 5 minutes to take it again. He wasn't to move. 5 minutes later (Craig had fallen asleep) and she took his blood pressure again. It was at that point she asked Craig if he could drive himself to "Foothills Emerg?" Thinking he had misheard her he asked her to clarify. She explained she was sending him to the emergency room, and he should call Kris to let him know.
Craig's first thought was "great, I'm going to spend my entire night waiting in the emergency room forever." No such luck. When Craig arrived, the duty nurse told him to come in immediately. She took his blood pressure and advised that it was through the roof and he as to sit in a wheel chair and not move until they found him a bed. His blood pressure was a reading of 250/154. A normal adult male should be around 120/80!! They thought he might have a stroke at any second. By the time Kris arrived Craig was in a bed, with IV's attached and a blood pressure machine taking his bp every 5 minutes. Then came the questions. "How stressed are you at work?" "What is your diet like" "How much do you drink and smoke?" "What is your family's medical history?" The best was "do you do cocaine?"
Craig spent the rest of the weekend in the Special Services unit (attached to the Tom Baker Cancer Centre) before they could get his blood pressure down to an acceptable level (150/110!) This began a summer of hell for Kris and Craig as they tried to figure out what would cause a 36 year old man's head to explode. Finally in August came the news - a Pheochromocytoma (http://www.endocrineweb.com/pheo.html). A tumor through his left adrenal gland. Craig was ecstatic! Sure it was a tumor, but at least he knew what it was and they could take it out!!
Unfortunately it wasn't that simple. His surgeon described the removal as being similar to "poking vicious dog with a stick" and that made any surgery three times more dangerous. The surgeon told Kris that it was a 50/50 chance that Craig wasn't going to make it through the surgery. Craig spent almost two months in the hospital as they tried to get his blood pressure under control enough to operate. To finish the story (as it is getting late) Craig made it through, with no ill effects (well, some weight gain that he can't shake!)
It was a terrible time, not just for Craig and Kris, but for his parents, and for the kids. It's something you never forget and it affects your life long term more than you can imagine. Kalista and Rory were 14 and 11 at the time, and were being told their dad had cancer and may not make it. That's a lot to handle at such a young age. It's something they shouldn't have had to handle.
So why the Patrick Swayze tribute, and why the long medical history? It was really to clarify that Craig isn't an insensitive bastard. It's to explain that when faced with what I believe to be the ultimate (death) is it not better to find humor and share laugh instead of a tear? We need to quit taking our lives and ourselves so damn serious.
At work a popular phrase gets bantered around quite a bit: "You can take your job seriously, without taking yourself seriously!" What it really means is do a good job, but have fun doing it. Maybe that's what we all need to hear. Do a good job in life, but make sure you have fun along the way. Cancer and many other deaths are painful and take their toll not just on their victims; but we mustn't lose sight of the big picture. No matter how terrible things might get, laughter is the best medicine. Laughter is a free gift you can give anyone. Laughter is our gift to the world.
Laugh more, hate less. Love more, and enjoy life without taking it so seriously.
Welterusten!!
