A League of Their Own

Kris said something to their son the other day, and Craig had an epiphany. Kris said:

“The biggest mistake guys make with girls is thinking that someone is out of their league.”

Craig chewed on that one a moment and thought, how profound was that? How many times had he heard someone say that before? How many times had he passed over opportunities for that very same reason, not just with girls, but with jobs, and career advancement. Sometimes you get kicked in the teeth, but isn’t that a risk you need to take? Self doubt is often a way to cover up for fear and procrastination.

Craig was raised that if you wanted something you asked for it; especially with work. Make your own opportunities and the rest will follow. Sometimes you end up taking it on the chin. Craig worked as a claims adjuster for the largest insurance company in Canada at the time (they’re no longer on the map, Craig often laughs and hopes he had a big part in that!!) He was young, and eager. When his brother-in-law quit the same company for a better job, Craig was keen to take his position. Craig was simply a telephone adjuster of automobile claims. He never got to leave the office, and was making minimal money. His brother-in-law’s position involved a company vehicle, freedom of movement, and more money. Craig was getting great performance reviews, and seemed to be on his way up. When his brother-in-law was first promoted into that position he had less experience than Craig. It seemed a natural fit. As soon as his brother-in-law gave his notice, Craig was quick to act. He sent an e-mail to the claims manager and explained that he was eager to learn, and was ready to move up. It seemed like the right thing to do. A meeting between Craig, the manager, and Craig’s team leader soon followed. It didn’t go the way Craig had hoped it would.

The claims manager took Craig to task. He asked him who he thought he was to think he was ready for such a position. Told him that he had a lot of nerve to think he was qualified. It was a full on lashing. Craig was broken and defeated. He doubted everything he knew to be true. It took him 20 minutes in the bathroom to recompose himself. Maybe he was too young and cocky? Maybe he didn’t deserve it. Nevertheless, it was pretty much the end of Craig’s career there. He hung on for almost another year, but subconsciously it was over. He was even being trained for a promotion when the end finally came. Why is this a story of hope? Well as Garth Brooks once sang “some of God’s greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers’. Craig hated the job. The company he worked for was the stereotypical insurance company that went out of their way to treat people like criminals. Everyone was guilty first until proven innocent. Deny coverage whenever possible, just like in the movie “The Incredibles”. Craig only wanted the promotion for the money and the availability to get out of the office. It wasn’t for the right reason.

Flash forward almost five years later. Craig was working as a call center representative for a different insurance company. He wasn’t happy. It wasn’t the company, but he was worried that he was going nowhere. One day a posting went up for a training position. Craig had only been there a year, but threw his name in the hat anyway. He was up against a team leader and others reps who had been there far longer. People told him he was crazy as the role was already “handpicked” for others. Undeterred, Craig plodded forward, interview after interview. Outlasting others who were supposedly “shoe-ins”. When the offer for the job finally came, Craig was beside himself. Not only did he have a new lease on life, he felt vindicated. Everything he had learned about “going for it” came to fruition.

Of course, Craig already knew that this was the way to get things in life. “Out of his league” would have been how Craig would have described Kris if the timing wasn’t right. Craig and Kris met at a country music jamboree at Canada Olympic Park in 1989. Craig had struggled with awkward teeth throughout his teens and that had affected his self esteem. He hid it well, but it was hard nevertheless. Armed with a new smile, Craig had self confidence that he had never felt before. It was that new found self-assuredness that gave him the courage to say hi to Kris and her friend. Kris to this day is the most beautiful woman he has ever met.

All in all Craig took some lumps, but has realized that it’s always best to go for it. Still full of self doubt, and a huge procrastinator, he still knows when he needs to go all out to get what he wants. Fear will always be a factor, but you can’t expect things to just fall in your lap. There is on old Dutch saying; Nee heb je, ja kan je krijgen , which loosely translated means “you already have no – why not try for yes?” Craig tries to remember this when things don’t always go his way. Craig draws on that confidence he found that one July day in 1989. Twenty years later he still catches himself thinking “she’s out of my league!”

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